German Beef Jerky Packaging

I always find myself in a group of people who wind up rolling their eyes whenever I decide to vocalize something I was fairly certain everyone was already thinking. Sure I have a "Dirty Mind," but these days, how can you not?

In a Social context, this type of observation usually has about as much grace as Rosie O’Donnell ice skating with a jet engine duct taped to her head. [ed. note: I’m sorry, Rosie. I don’t know you. Maybe you skate well. I have no way of knowing.] But in a Comedic context, I have about 100% accuracy. To me. Because I think I’m hysterical. And in the end, that’s what really counts.

So maybe I don’t have that censor sitting in my brain waiting to hit the bleep button, and maybe, often, the world would be a better place if my thoughts were telecast with a 5 second delay. It would certainly be more decent.

So here’s your chance. I won’t spoil it. And you can sit and enjoy whatever G-Rated images float through the theater in your mind.

I dare you.