The funny thing about having kids (like I'm some f**king expert) is that you come to know their limitations and strengths. See, Max is an incredible reader even though she would rather lick the long green trail of god-knows-what spilling out of the hole where the pigeons live than actually pick up a book. Go and measure her speed, retention and comprehension and you'll find her resting comfortably in the 98th percentile.But Math? Holy Christ. You could give Max 10 Jenga blocks, ask her to give you back all 10 of the Jenga blocks, and have her write down the amount she has left. Squinching up her face, she'd look blankly towards the ceiling until finally, frustrated, she'd say "Four?" Not because she's stupid. Heaven help you if you ever loan her money. You'll wake up staring at a guy named Big Lou holding a baseball bat with Max telling you precisely what you owe her in principal and interest. It's only when you ask her to calculate the area of a rectangular grid that her brain admits to closing that portion of the parietal lobe due to budget cuts.
The point is, when they passed out the award for Academic Excellence in the Field of Mathematics, I didn't feel it insulting to sit back down and watch Roxy moisten the s**t out of a cookie. Because Max had no greater chance winning that award than I did.
But then, to my slack-jawed surprise, she won the President's Award for Academic Excellence, signed by Barack Obama. Proving, once again, that I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm just lucky I get my pants on the right arms each morning, I guess.
That's what kids do best...surprise us with the good...and unfortunately sometimes the bad, however a moment like that is one to relish in for a lifetime..Congrats to Max and Familia, don't under estimate yourself Rodney, you know exactly what you're doing, keep it up bro.
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